you are not beautiful, exactly.

in case you weren't clear on this

2009-12-15T04:33:50Z

Waiting two weeks to start an essay for a class you hate about a book that was okay, and then deciding to stay up all night to write it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a horrible idea. Always! There is never a time it is even a semi-horrible idea. I mean, I've so far written one painstaking paragraph, it's already 11:30, I'm typing like a drunk, and I'm super tired because I worked all day (and that was pretty bad, it even included getting threatened by a schizophrenic lady).

On the other hand, I at least don't have my 8 am class tomorrow and I think I've done this maybe once my entire academic life.

why on earth

2009-10-30T14:31:54Z

did I pass on seeing Brandi Carlile live when she came to Northampton a few weeks ago?

I LOVE YOU BRANDI CARLILE

good news and BS

2009-09-18T20:32:56Z

Good news: submitted the common app plus all supplements to Clark and UMass just now. Cross your fingers for me! I still have to get some letters and transcripts

BS: I spent a long time trying to figure out how to send my SAT scores to Temple, Clark, and UMass. In the end, I apparently sent them twice (same scores): one for free, one for $28. I blame this on their tricksy site, because I seriously had a hell of a time figuring it out, the bastards. Thanks a lot, CollegeBoard, you know, some of us don't have parents who just give us money.

On that note, time to pay my credit card bill :(

Cockney ATMs

2009-09-18T15:17:14Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFroE6f4-ts

(Sorry about the ads)

also this video, which is more...ah, amused...

quirks and compassion in Spanish and German

2009-09-03T23:25:44Z

In Spanish, there is no one word to say "brown." Instead, there are words describing what type of brown you are talking about--chestnut, coffee-colored, maroon, cinnamon, almond. There are two versions of "to be": one describes permanent states of being, like where you are from, aspects of your personality, and the other is used to describe passing states of being, like moods, where you are right now, and interestingly enough, whether you are married or dead.

In Spanish, the way to say "I'm sorry" is "lo siento", which translates literally as "I feel it."

Milan Kundera has this to say about compassion:

All languages that derive from Latin form the word "compassion" by combining the prefix meaning "with" (com-) and the root meaning "suffering" (Late Latin, passio). In other languages [...] this word is translated by a noun formed of an equivalent prefix combined with the word that means "feeling" (German, "Mit-gefühl").

In languages that derive from Latin, "compassion" means: we cannot look coolly on as others suffer; or, we sympathize with those who suffer. Another word with approximately the same meaning, "pity" [....] connotes a certain condescension towards the sufferer [...].

That is why the word "compassion" generally inspires suspicion; it designates what is considered an inferior, second-rate sentiment that has little to do with love. To love someone out of compassion means not really to love.

In languages that form the word "compassion" not from the root "suffering" but from the root "feeling," the word is used in approximately the same way, but to contend that it designates a bad or inferior sentiment is difficult. [...] To have compassion (co-feeling) means not only to be able to live with the other's misfortune but also to be feel with him any emotion--joy, anxiety, happiness, pain. This kind of compassion [...] therefore signifies the maximal capacity of affective imagination, the art of emotional telepathy.

I use compassion as an example because I just can't remember all the idioms and intracacies of Spanish or German, which is a shame since I've come to really love them. I am starting German again, just on my own, and looking forward to it. I know some of you must know of examples in other languages, not just pertaining to compassion or anything like that, just subtle (or not so subtle) quirks in a language. I'd be really interested to hear them.

hard candy

2009-08-25T06:07:14Z

is actually a very disturbing movie.

a_soft_world @ 2009-08-19T14:11:00

2009-08-19T18:13:24Z

guys TEMPLE IS SO COOL

Temple University
they have so many programs

actually I think I'm more excited about Temple now than about UMBC

first some fruit and flowers

2009-08-15T04:17:48Z

I smelled this tree before I saw it

two things i did today that were stupid

2009-08-15T03:37:48Z

1. I ran a load of laundry except that I didn't. I forgot to turn the water on, so it just sat there and went through the whole wash cycle with only detergent. >:(

2. Watched "Requiem for a Dream." Guys it was HORRIBLE

Ruby's babies are still nursing and now she's just taken to getting up and walking away when she doesn't want to feed them. It makes her look like she has some sort of disturbing train.

Question: do you say "wedding bands" or "wedding rings"?

two mysterious dreams

2009-08-07T04:11:07Z

In the first, it was November and I had driven up to a secluded spot in the woods. I was waiting for something and I was extremely nervous. I wouldn't get out of my car and kept brushing my arms and neck and looking for spiders. I was waiting maybe for someone or waiting to find something, though I was dreading what it was. I finally did get out of the car, but left the spot I was supposed to be, and crawled over to a dead tree full of sparrows. I got one to fly over to me and held it in my hands and it turned black and just looked at me.

In the second, I had gone into town very early in the morning and saw from up on a hill asakiyume walking her dog. She didn't see me, though, and I didn't call out to her, but she was going a strange route. Later in the afternoon, as I was getting ready to return home from town, someone at the bank told me she had been murdered. I was very upset and rushed to her house, where I found her sitting in the kitchen, confused. She was happy to be there, but sad, too, because she was both alive and dead. She couldn't remember what had happened, and we tried to figure it out. We both knew we knew what had happened, but that was all--we couldn't know the specifics, and so it was doomed to repeat itself, over and over again, and that was why we were distraught at not being able to figure it out.

I always have funny dreams like these when I sleep in a new place. When I was sleeping on the way down, I dreamed of driving with my father, who was speeding even though sometimes the road would just be a clear drop.

But these dreams were strange because they were in color (though very gray and white) and strange dreams for me usually come in blue.

Posting from VA!

2009-08-07T01:43:58Z

Arrived in South Philly yesterday afternoon--though that's traditionally Italian, and my family is Italian, my uncle lives in an Irish pocket. Had Italian food served family-style (you order a bunch of stuff and the food keeps coming until everybody's had some)--excellent fun, ate and talked for 3 hours.

We got to Blacksburg about 5 pm; went past Frederick (once I considered Hood College, but driving past Frederick I quickly dropped that) and Roanoke and saw signs for Hollins University, which I'd still like to see. My parents cooked artichokes and clam spaghetti for dinner and now we are playing Guitar Hero (never played it before). Tomorrow we will go to the pool and maybe see V. Tech; Saturday, street fair!

My brother's apartment complex has a billion fat leopard slugs!

a_soft_world @ 2009-07-30T14:40:00

2009-07-30T18:50:54Z

-Missy had her babies but someone ate their heads. Okay, probably Peanut ate their heads so that she wouldn't lose her place as queen or whatever. Now Ruby is very pregnant and I put her in another cage. She is freaking out and Peanut is sulking under a blanket because she doesn't get to eat babies.

-Yesterday I had a lady come in and she bought like, 25 economy size cans of baked beans and about 50 bottles of Coke, Diet Coke, seltzer and tonic water. Then a guy came in and bought 6 packs of discount steak knives (there were 4 or 5 to a pack) and 5 rolls of super-duty paper towels. Discuss.

-Tomorrow is my mom's birthday omg what do I get herrrr

-In two days it will be August and that makes me sad. I have to take a week to go to Virginia and see my brother and then a week or so after that, I will be taking 4 days to go to Baltimore and look at Univ. of Maryland. I am psyched! On the way back, I think we might stop and look at some schools in Philly, but I'm not sure what those will be yet.

uhhh the end

photos from July

2009-07-26T15:57:12Z

okay let's try this again

the tiniest bunny! I thought he was a frog at first--he was sleeping under a tree in the grass. Alex caught him.

then like 2 minutes after that, we found a turtle who was mad that he got caught. Alex is holding him wrong, though--you're supposed to hold turtles like you hold a hamburger.

this reminded me of an ocarina or something.

this picture would have been better with a wide angle lens/a better camera.

after work sometimes Alex and I have picnics up here.

I want to go running outside today but my brother predictably does not want to come with. I guess I will go alone. :| Also, all the mice are tweaking out and I don't know why.

WTF

2009-07-25T19:20:10Z

I just made a photo entry but it didn't work F YOU LJ

work and tests

2009-07-03T16:40:01Z

Seriously dragging my feet about going to work today. :( stupid holidays and people waiting until the last goddamn possible second to get their food.

Got my ACT scores back: 29 composite (out of a possible 36). Apparently the ACT people decided not to trust anyone about their GPA, and they computed mine (incorrectly) as a 3.77. These scores seem weird to me--I didn't score as high as I thought I would in reading or writing but I did manage to score 74th percentile in math (what??) and 96th percentile in science. weiiird.

anticipay-ay-shun

2009-06-30T04:23:32Z

Ahhhh ACT scores back probably Wednesday. I'm nervous!

Eager to see how the court decides on the Lt. Choi case tomorrow.

Tonight after my shift the tall one met me and we saw Fatty Fat, the possum who lives in the chancellor's garden at UMass. He eats all the trash at night. I took a crappy picture of him, and then he outran us.

a_soft_world @ 2009-06-27T14:48:00

2009-06-27T18:57:06Z

I need to eat something before I go to work (my shift starts at 4 and goes to 9:45 so I'll be hungry during the middle of it, plus I still need to eat lunch) but lately I can't stand eating. This happens every once in a while--I'm hungry for nothing and when I do force myself to eat it's very physically unpleasant and makes me want to throw up. I don't even want to think about food. I don't know why I get like this but it's super annoying.

Also signed up for a third class next semester, a sociology one: Social Problems & Crime, which, because it's taken at an urban school, will partly focus on Springfield and the Springfield area, which will be very interesting.

365 photos still alive but barely; this week has been very busy and I'm extremely tired. Off to go force something down and then upsell relish.

129-141

2009-06-18T23:16:53Z

130.

131.

132.

133. Alex gives out 200 rides to small children

134. in Palmer, after graduation

135. bottle box

136. brickyard trail

137. sofiedog! what kind of dog is this?

138. vanilla yogurt + soy milk + blueberries + banana = goodness

139. foxglove

140. glass + not adjusting white light balance

141. waiting for Alex

I'm missing a bunch because I got lazy.

whew

2009-06-13T19:12:08Z

ACTs = OVARRR

They weren't too bad, actually--much more straightforward than the SATs. There's one block of writing, one block of math, one block of science, etc. so the test had four block parts (plus writing) instead of ten mini parts. It also went much quicker; we were out by 12:15 instead of 1:15. I rocked the reading and writing parts, muddled through most of the math (and you're not penalized for guessing, so I went and randomly filled in all the ones I didn't get to) though there were some pretty advanced concepts that I've never seen before and others that I have long forgotten how to do, and did pretty well on the science part. It turns out that I actually didn't need to learn physics because a) there wasn't any on this test and b) it's all interpreting graphs and informed guesses, so not too bad. As the tall one pointed out, studying for this test doesn't really work too well because it's supposed to be a measurement of four years' worth of learning. And the writing part was very easy and I managed to get out more than on the SATs. The kid next to me wrote a sentence and a half and then stopped.

I think I'll manage at least a 29 composite, which is alright, but I still prefer the SATs just because they're easier for nontraditional students. High school students should be able to take the ACT with no problem.

tl;dr standardized testing blows and now I am going to work to ~~play IRL Tetris~~ bag groceries.

also this

2009-06-11T20:33:35Z

ECONOMICS IS SO F-ING HARD.

I seriously don't understand it at all. I just got a 65 on a quiz, and the only reason I got that was because there were exact definitions. Opportunity cost? Possible Production Frontier? WHAT ARE THESE THINGS? WHY IS EVERY EXAMPLE WITH PIZZA AND CDs OR OIL CHANGES AND TIRES?! WHY CAN'T WE JUST USE MONEY EXAMPLES? This class is going to tank my GPA.

I feel the way I did when I took chemistry--I was just confronted with a subject about which I understood practically nothing. If I ask my mom about it, she will understand it, because she's just one of those people who "gets" money. She could've been a banker or something. But really. Why is this so hard? Why is there so much goddam vocabulary? AHHH.

And work was a disaster. The receptionist looked horrified when she came in. Old people were lying trampled on the waiting room floor, the phone was ringing constantly, the syringes were all filled with air, I was throwing up with a hangover in the bathroom, and Avril Lavigne was playing on the radio. It was horrible. Now I smell like a dentist office D:

121-128

2009-06-04T18:56:19Z

lake house

122. yum bubbly pond

123. silly goose

124. Amherst Cinema--we watched "Sunshine Cleaning," which I liked mostly, but it was a little like getting the wind knocked out of me, and it had too many subplots that went nowhere.

125. daisy

126. :D

127. "mountain" climbing--actually more like hill climbing

128. pepper seeds

Caps and gowns were handed out today--you get an orange rope-thing (can't recall the name) to wear over your gown if you are "pro merito" (meaning you have a 90 average or better). I was given a pro merito certificate last year, so I should have that. But not at this school! Apparently, even though I maintained a 97 average throughout the year, it doesn't matter because of the dual enrollment program. I can't wait to be done with this school.

oh god

2009-06-04T16:35:04Z

It's so embarrassing and awful to read a line like this: "I'm not going to minimize it. She was raped then driven back safe and sound to where she was picked up."

Right. Safe and sound.

two songs

2009-06-03T16:50:55Z

The first is "Find the River" by R.E.M., off the "Automatic for the People" album, which is a fantastic album, and possibly R.E.M.'s best. I mentioned this yesterday to asakiyume because they name lots of plants and herbs:

(Similar to this song is "Nightswimming," off the same album. It has beautiful instrumentation (including a prominent oboe) and you can find it at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8Chy_TZdwA)

The second is the song "See the World" by Gomez. I like the song a lot, but the video is even better--it was shot all around the world (2:24 is adorable):

110-120

2009-05-20T02:43:49Z

110. Sort of not really looking at UMass-Lowell. I don't know much about Lowell, and anyways, the Amherst campus is really the best, but I don't think I'll apply there.

111.

112. I do Coke Rewards but I cheat by scrounging the caps out of places. Because I am a vagrant. But, it's gotten me at least two sweet magazine subscriptions for free, so whatever.

113. When I saw this, I thought it looked like a dragon with its head cut off.

114. fuzzy :D

115. Missy and Carl in the tub

116. it's upside-down but really not because I was laying underneath the tree

117. umass at night

118. JClark's party

119.

120. here is not a picture, but a video of mice after a bath

99-109

2009-05-10T17:58:55Z

100. My mom signed us both up for the gym nearby--I go to do weights, mostly. I like the mascot.

101. Peanut and Ruby

102. The kitchen is normal, the other side is magical

103. cat-sitting

104. sitting cat

105. this goose was so sweet

106. driving home from a play at school

107. Alex playing with the cats

108. peach blossom

109.